Sometimes I wish you could understand.
Why I hide my emotions and feelings and thought processes.
If you knew what all went on inside my head, you’d think I’m crazy.
There’s a reason I don’t tell people anything and keep it quiet.
The thought’s I think and the words I say are completely different, you’d never know that they come from the same brain.
Let me be honest though, I don’t hate you, I hate me.
I hate my hair, my body, my clothes, my teeth. I hate my future, my failures and everything between. I’m just not happy, at least not with myself.
YOU make me happy on every level, you don’t understand though, I’m just not happy with myself.
You can love me and say don’t change, but we all know there’s a side that wants the six pack and pearly whites, money and a bright future.
I’m a failure at best and yet you want me.
It’s times like these where I question you because no one should want me.
I’m fat. I have yellow teeth. I have horrible hair. I have even worse clothes.
My future? What future. A two time college drop out, man that’s a life.
I only want what’s best for you, but you don’t get it.
I’m really not the best for you, you could do way better.
What about the model, who’s tone and has great teeth, and even better hair?
Someone who has a college degree and a future with finances rather than someone who can barely hold a job at Starbucks.
A man is supposed to provide, financially, emotionally and be able to provide a future.
I can barely do one.
So please tell me why you’re with me, because the facts don’t add up.
You can say you love me and that’s all that matters, but really, I can’t let you make this mistake.
All I’ve ever been in my life is a mistake.
An oops baby from the start, the mistake of picking me for their team, the mistake of accepting me into the club or colleges, the mistake of dating someone who has no future and no job.